Experts Only? Better Not

Roses are redish
Violets are blueish
If it wasn’t for Christmas
We’d all be Jewish

As a Jew(ish) person, I’ve spent Christmas in the Dead Sea, Christmas on the beaches of Indonesia, and Christmas on Machu Picchu. My previous Christmases have all been anomalies to the traditional Christmas; this year, I finally spent Christmas walking in a winter wonderland. Three of my closest friends from college, Sreetham, Whitney, and Elaine, and I decided to spend Christmas skiing in Tahoe. Unfortunately, mother nature had something else in store for us…

White Stuff Everywhere

Whitney, Elaine and I leave San Francisco at 5:30 AM (impressed much? so were we), confident we were going to make Elaine’s 9:30AM ski class. A few hours into the drive, Whitney quips “We sure are making good time!” An hour after that, we find ourselves on a highway that very closely resembled a parking lot. Thanks to multiple flipped trucks and a snowstorm, the highway was shut down for three hours; luckily, our pantry of food got us through the 9 hour ride, and we arrive in Tahoe just in time for…trekking through the snow!


We wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed the next morning, excited for day 1 of skiing! We begin the day with pb and banana sandwiches (culinary high/lowlight of the trip), and hit the slopes…to find 90% of the mountain closed, due to weather conditions. Womp womp.

We have fun anyway, bringing hot cocoa mix to lunch and asking the waitress for “3 cups of hot water for the poor”, after the lady in front of us orders three mocha latte peppermint cappuchinos. Keepin’ it classy.

Mogul Situation

After lunch, I lead Whitney to a trail marked “Experts Only”, where the following happens:

Me: “Hey, Whitney, let’s do this run! It’s new! We’ve done all the others 18 million times”
Whitney: “It says experts only…”
Sreetham: “Better not…”
Me: “That’s what we have helmets for! Besides, a bunch of little kids just went down. If they can do it, so can we.”
Whitney: “Okay….let’s do it.”
Me: “YAY! Follow me.”

5 minutes later, Whitney is attempting to cut across a line of trees to make it back to the original trail, and I’m trailing those kids, who turn out to be a ski team, and question my presence.

Little kid, to ski team instructor: “Why is this person following us?”
(cue to me, fallen over, waist deep in snow, unable to get around this tree/mogul situation)
Instructor: “I don’t know…let’s get out of here”
Me: “Helllllllp”
Pretty sweet view

Pretty sweet view

First World Problems

We finally make it out alive, finish the day of skiing, and head back to the lodge where we debate a very serious problem.

Elaine: “I really want to go to the hot tub…my muscles are killin’ me!”
Sreetham: “It’s just so far from our room…”
Whitney: “Hmm…the hot tub is part of the resort, right?”
Sreetham: “Yes, but you have to walk outside, in the snow, to get there”
Whitney: “How far?”
Sreetham: “A few minutes walk”
Me: “First world problems.”

It’s a Christmas Miracle

After the hot tub, we put our names on an hour long wait list for Christmas Eve dinner, I mope about eating dinner past 5pm, and we open presents from our gift exchange. Mid-way through the gift exchange, a Christmas miracle occurs! The restaurant calls us back, informing us a 4 seater has opened up! Merry Christmas!!

After enjoying our fancy meals of lamb, red snapper, pork tenderloin and ribs, we head back to our room to play the board game Elaine got me for Christmas. In an Apples to Apples esque game, Sreetham and I shockingly come up with the same answers (Daffy Duck, treehouse, and dandelion) for the first three questions. We deem ourselves twins and call it a night.

The next morning, we head down to our poor neglected car, looking very cozy under a pristine blanket of snow. Unfortunately, the blanket must be removed, and the three Texans begin our collective first-time task of shoveling out a car. Not easy work, but I do find out I have a potential second career as a snow remover; I kind of rocked the shoveling…so gnar.

Whitney was also very good at shoveling

Whitney was also very good at shoveling

Once our car is free, Elaine and Whitney drive to Squaw Village and Sreetham and I ski to meet them. After getting separated, Whitney and I are waiting for Sreetham and Elaine at a lift when Whitney calls out “You left Elaine?!?”, to a stranger who also happens to be Indian and wearing the same color scheme as Sreetham. As I double over in laughter at Whitney’s racism, I notice a hole in the crouch of her ski pants….possibly from a previous fall in the snowstorm, or possibly self-induced for easy access…we’ll never know.

We continue skiing in the blizzard (apparently the weather conditions get much better the next day…when we’re back in SF. Perf), until our trip home: another beautiful 9 hours. Where is everyone GOING ON CHRISTMAS?! Seriously, stay home with your families, people! Rude.

Christmas 2013 in Tahoe? Better not…


2 thoughts on “Experts Only? Better Not

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