The new year has officially kicked off, with me eating chocolate in my underwear, at 7AM. Not a super shocking turn of events, considering how last night went down.
Here are some texts from last night:Arielle: “Dallas. 7 min. Me: “Texas?” Arielle: “How soon you forget” Me: “Sorry, I thought you were the lesbian Ariel” Arielle: “….?” — Me: “What are you doing?” K: “Walking to hell” Me: “Is it warm there?” K: “Yes” Me: “Win.” — K: “Happy New Year!!!! What are you doing tonight?!?!” Me: “Lesbians” —
Here are some things that happened last night:
I thought I was going to a chill house party, where we were going to drink some champagne and watch a movie. I brought chili. 10 minutes later, I was on a bike, going to meet the lesbians at a BAR. Over the last few days, I probably said the following statement 1o times:
“I’m definitely not going to a bar on New Years. It’s so overrated. Definitely just going to a house party and not waking up hungover.”
The house party scene goes a little something like this:
(5 minutes into my arrival): “Hey! I heard you are new to town. Up for a raging lesbian bar?”
And here’s what happened at the bar:
Line for women’s bathroom was way too long. I went to the men’s. Only urinals. I attempted to pee like a man. Turns out that is not the way to do it. Luckily my pants dried enough to not mess up my oh-so-suave game.
I pocket random pieces of chocolate all night. I find them intermittently throughout the evening, and without fail, think it is magic each time I pull a Reese’s out of my pocket.
Get a midnight kiss. By someone who is later pegged “emotionally unavailable”. But, at least she is not straight…so, YAY 2013 progress!
With that said, I raise a toast to 2013. To the year of emotionally unavailable, albeit gay women. To the year of progress. To the year of my first San Fran-versary.
Hear ye, hear ye, I toast to thee!