This is Africa, Part 2: The Guava Hits the Fan

Day 3 of our adventure in Cape Town proved to be a wet, rainy day. What better way to spend a rainy day than wine tasting in the Napa-esque vineyards of South Africa?

Before we head out for our journey, we ask the hostel owner if we should switch our rental car, as “it is very difficult to turn the wheel to the right”. He responds with “Your arm is just tired”. Best answer ever.

(Dramatic re-enactment of real events):
Once on the road, we are driving merrily along when a car approaches rapidly from behind. The driver signals a code word, with a fierce expression on his rugged face. He then repeatedly rams into our car in an attempt to drive us off the road.  Luckily, Nikki keeps control of the car, preventing us from running into the cinderblock on our right hand side, and spiraling into a fiery roadside death in a foreign country.  Although the war lord mafia driver speeds away before we can record his license plate number, a good samaritan witnesses the entire incident, and signals his license plate number to us…which would come in handy later…
(Non dramatic real story):
A car bumped into us whilst cutting us off the highway. There’s a big scratch on the car. That’s okay, it’s a rental!
After accessing the car damage and spitting a few four letter words at the dude who hit us, we continue on our path to find cheetahs whilst drinking wine (that’s a thing here in Cape Town’s wineries). We never do find the cheetahs, but we do wander into a random vineyard, where we have the cutest gay boy as the wine connoisseur leading our wine tasting.
Isn't he the cutest?

Isn’t he the cutest?

He teaches us how to properly drink wine, and our favorite new South African phrase “When the guava hits the fan”, meaning everything has gone amiss.
How to properly drink wine

How to properly drink wine

After our wine tasting, we pick up Sreetham at the airport and head to another winery. After getting nice and boozed up, we arrive at the police station to voluntarily turn ourselves in. Kidding. We go to the police station to file a police report on the guava hitting the fan (car accident).


Once that is done, we attempt to find the 3rd winery, which serves dual purpose as a place to get classily hammered while petting drugged up cheetahs! Winning! We arrive at said Cheetah Outreach Farm, to instead see signs for Eagle Outreach. We roll with the punches, interact with some owls, marvel at their head turning abilities (a la The Exorcist) and then inquire as to where the cheetahs are. Turns out they are 45 minutes away and the farm closes in exactly 45 minutes. Not winning.
Hoot hoot!

Hoot hoot!

We cut our losses and get back to our hostel, where we freshen up and prepare to meet Nikki’s friend, Zara, who is Cape Town born and bred.  We go to this trendy restaurant (think anniversary and birthday dinners) where the most expensive dish is probably ~$18USD. I love South Africa….and Zara, who not only has the most amazing accent, but is also a kindred grandma soul. We both covered our ears and thought “Why is this music SO loud?” at the bar we went to, post dinner.
The next day, we woke to a beautiful, sunny morning. Actually, it was 10am, which is early afternoon to me. Sreetham drugged me before I went to sleep, to ensure I wouldn’t wake everyone up at 6am. It worked. Although every previous day was rainy, seeing the sun gave us hope; we were going for Table Mountain, take 2. Table Mountain, one of the 7 wonders of nature, is a 2-3 hour hike, which promises a panoramic view of Cape Town and one of the must-do activities for visitors. Unfortunately, Cape Town’s weather is quite fickle and by the time we arrived at the base of Table Mountain, the top was cloaked in clouds, preventing the panoramic view, and the cable car down was not running, due to wind velocity.
We instead decided to visit Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens, which was the best idea. Flowers and plants generally bore me; they are just so sedentary. However, the grounds were unbelievably beautiful and there was a series of hidden hiking trails wonderfully void of people.

Kirstenbosch Gardens!

Secret Hiking Trail!

Secret Hiking Trail!

With the sun once again peeking out, we took a quick trip to Clifton Beach and Camps Bay.

Clifton Beach

Camps Bay

We rounded out the day by watching the sunset at Signal Hill, on an abandoned roof top which was only accessible by climbing the trunk of a tree. We found the way by following the instructions of a group of locals, who welcomed us with shots of jager and were very surprised to meet Sreetham, an Indian from California….they do exist!

Sunset at Signal Hill


2 thoughts on “This is Africa, Part 2: The Guava Hits the Fan

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s