Will you Maui me?

A few weeks ago, my coworker Vivian mentioned she was going to Hawaii and asked for recommendations. I jokingly responded, “I’ll just come with you!” A true saleswoman, Vivian followed up with me every week, and every week I jokingly said I’ll look into tickets. After one day on the beach in Rio de Janeiro, I got the (warm) beach itch and I scratched. #RomanticGetaway to Hawaii with my coworker, booked and booked! And this is how it went…

We took the first flight out of Oakland and landed in Hawaii at 10am on Friday. Straight to the (fantastically empty) beach near our airbnb we went.

Our backyard

As the wind begins to pick up, I begin to fly my trainer kite. The strong wind soon tires me out, and I lay down in the surf, gently flying the kite from the sandy water. After a few minutes, a photographer comes along, tells me he is from the Maui Daily News, and asks if he can take a few photos of me kiting from the surf, to feature in the newspaper. Obviously the attention whore in me immediately says yes and then I promptly crash the kite into the waves.

After a few hours at the beach by our house, Viv and I decide to explore another nearby beach. As soon as we arrive, it begins to rain. But a warm rain that is still fun to frolic in. So frolic in the rain and waves we do, until we hear the airbnb’s hot tub calling our name. Once we’re back in the car, Vivian asks “Did I have shoes on when I came to the beach?” First thing of many Vivian will misplace on this trip. She did have shoes on 1 hour prior when we walked to the beach, but she decides: “Forget the shoes. Hot tub is more important”.

Vivian is so excited to jump into the hot tub, that she misses the first step and crashes her leg into the edge. She spends the rest of the time sexily sitting with one leg out of the hot tub, to air out her wound.

After cleaning her wound, Viv and I go paint the town red, taking shots with locals and skinny dipping in the ocean in the middle of the night. Nope, we go to bed at 9pm (midnight SF time!).

Side note: Before coming to Hawaii, one of Viv’s friends’ recommended we get up early to watch the sunrise at Haleakalā Volcano, as it is beautiful and illuminates the entire town.

At 5am the next day, I gently nudge Viv : “Viv, do you want to go watch the sunrise?” “No”. “Are you sure?” “Yes.”

5 minutes later, she’s up and we are getting ready to go to the volcano. 1.5 hours later, the sun is 100% up and we are still driving up the windy road to the volcano. Definitely missed the sunrise, but Viv did make friends with a bird, and we did get an amazing vantage point above the clouds.

Snow White

Above the clouds

After the volcano, we head back to Makena Beach, and what is the first thing we see when we arrive on the sand? Vivan’s flip flops, dutifully awaiting their owner.

Reunited and feels so good

Reunited and feels so good

Other things we meet on the beach:

-Friendliest dog, who we tried to kidnap

I forgot to get her name and number 😦

-Israeli boys who chat us up. Before they leave to get snorkel gear, they ask us if we’ll still be here when they return in a few minutes. We  reply “Definitely! We’ll definitely be here”. 2 minutes later, Viv and I have a change of heart and leave…probably they were still around to watch us absolutely bail on them.

After Makena Beach, we head back to our beach to fly the kite, where we meet a local kiteboarder who introduces us to Coconuts, home of the best fish tacos we’ve ever experienced.


We round out our evening with a night stroll along the beach and once again head to bed before 10pm.

The next day is the big day I’ve been waiting for…cliff jumping at Black Rock Beach!

Black Rock Beach!

Unlike my last experience cliff jumping in Hawaii, this time I jumped during the day where I could see the ocean below me, and it was not tiger shark mating season. Although as it turns out, there was a shark in the water…

While cliff jumping, we meet Hunter, the 16 year old kid barking up the wrong tree. Not even in the right forest. At first, Hunter is a cute, friendly kid. At second, Hunter is an awkward teenager trying to smooth talk his way into puberty. Gotta give the guy props for trying to hit up older women, though. Once Viv and I start swimming away and Hunter follows, I tell Hunter to go back to the cliff and do a front flip off the rock!. Knowing we’re trying to get rid of him and trying to flirt his way out of it, Hunter replies “Ooh, what will you give me if I do the front flip?” I reply in the most honest manner I can: “Hunter, I’m going to be real with you. I’m going to give you nothing.” Eventually, we bid our farewell to Hunter, with the promise to look him up on FB later…poor kid, but he’ll get there.

Although neither Viv nor I fell in love with Hunter, we did fall in love with this man:

Sunbathing in a white thong and trucker hat.

Sunbathing in a white thong and trucker hat.

Before exiting Black Rock Beach, we sneak into the Sheraton hot tub, and then stumble onto a small strip of beach off the beaten path, with crystal clear waters. We decide to bust out our airbnb borrowed snorkeling gear, which is when Vivian sees her mask has only one lens and we very ghetto-ly switch off masks while snorkeling. So worth it, b/c we find a group of snorkelers hovering in one spot; when I ask them if there is anything to see, they reply “Yes, a shark!”. In a cove between two pieces of coral is a 5 foot white tip shark! We’re assured it’s harmless, and so I swim down again and again and again to get a good look at it. #obsessedwithsharks #simultaneouslyterrified

The “furious sun” (as Vivian says) eventually gets the best of us, and we pack up and head home where we engage in my favorite Sunday evening activity…watching Naked and Afraid! 21 days…no food, no water, no clothes…and no prize. Regardless of where I am, Sunday nights will always be reserved for Naked and Afraid. No food for 21 days! Whhhhat! Vivian and I had torn into the fish tacos like animals because we had skipped lunch.

So gnar

On our next and final day in Hawaii, we a) tried incredibly hard not to think about leaving Hawaii and b) ate all the groceries we had purchased. Every leftover we had went into the scrambled eggs, the remainder of the eggs were boiled for a beach snack later on (thanks Chris Li, for the ancient Chinese wisdom!), and we had a very milky banana shake because…well, we had a lot of milk.

After a plentiful breakfast, we hop onto the road to Hana to hit the following scenic points:

– hana kanaka naka (or something) lookout.

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-Twin Falls waterfall, where I went swimming and got a free massage from mother nature.

– Me buying a coconut. Me wanting to eat the coconut meat after drinking it, but not having a machete. Vivian busting open the coconut using Brazilian jungle skills.

It worked!!

Post waterfalls, we make one last stop at the beach, where I use the recently acquired knowledge I got from a “4 magic things you can do with an egg” Buzzfeed video. I open the front and back end of the egg and then blow the egg right out of the shell! Thank you random FB friend for posting that random egg video which I immediately thought “I want to know all the cool things I can do with eggs!” and watched.

Before we know it, it’s 45 minutes before our flight. I feel like this isn’t a problem since I like to walk straight onto the plane but as we begin to check in, the attendant tells us to hurry, we have “1 minute left!”. She hurriedly gives us our boarding passes, and Viv and I don’t try to get seats together…big mistake.

After we pass security and walk to our gate, we start hearing our name being called out. We are the last people to board the plane. and then we start annoying everyone to play musical chairs so we can sit together to share our sushi dinner (at least it wasn’t eggs that I was blowing out of their shells!) and the computer.

Overall incredibly successful trip, where we got lei’ed (#hadto), truly relaxed and removed ourselves from the hustle and bustle of daily life and of course, had a very #romanticgetaway.

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Mahalo, Hawaii!



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