Cosmic Shift

Just kidding. Everything is more or less the same in my life. Same same but different.

Same, because literally everything is the same: city I live in, marital status, job, extracurricular activities.

Different, because I’ve suddenly realized, at 28, I am finally in the “give zero fucks” stage of my life (well, give 15 fucks, approximately):

Case in point, scenario 1:

Went on handful of dates with this girl, who I quite liked personality wise, and was attracted to! Rare find!  AND, she was into it too! Then, the whole thing just disappeared. Wtf, right? Spent one night quite upset. Fucks given: 50. Next day I realized I want to be with someone who’s equally engaged in the relationship. Fucks given: 15. Two weeks later, out with the old and in with the new (and better). Fucks given: 5.

Hey, I’m not 50 yet.


Played several awful games of volleyball, where my partner actually said “Play like this isn’t your first time on the court.”

Volleyball, which is the single most important extracurricular activity in my life right now. The activity I am 100 passionate about and spend ~90% of my time playing. Initial thought in my head: “Why the hell am I spending all my time playing a sport I am terrible at?!” Fucks given: 25. Immediate second thought in my head: “Whatever. I have fun playing most of the time, so let’s just keep this thang going. Maybe I’ll improve next time around”. Fucks given: 10.


Found out my 5 month pen pal had a gf all along. Fucks given: 15. One day later, fucks given: 5.  Two weeks later, fucks given: 0. She is clearly no good.


Make $.70 on the dollar to my male colleagues. Fucks given: 100. THAT IS BULLSHIT.

“Bah hambug! I’ll just close 2x more deals, so we make the same $” Fucks given: 100. STILL BULLSHIT.

“I’ll close 1.5x more deals, but work from home if I want, and take vacation without asking permission”. Fucks given: 50. FOREVER BULLSHIT

In Summary:

There are lot of things in this world to give a lot of fucks about. But if we only have 100 fucks, and we give them all to negativity, how do we find fucks to give about the important things in our lives? I had to clear out my other fucks so I can give some to my adorable niece, and my passion projects and to myself.


2 thoughts on “Cosmic Shift

  1. Jackie says:

    I wish I could share this with my students. They are alt ed students. I think they can take it. Oh yeah….they’re 13. They give 100 f&^%s for the smallest thing. Yes, the math works out.

  2. anon says:

    Well if you’re single and looking, I might know of someone who would be equally as engaged in a relationship as you. Hit me up sometime 😉

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